He Had It Comin'
by Shout Diva
Summary: [AU]The six merry murderesses of the McMahon County Jail tell their tales. [LitaEdge][StacyRandy][TrishChristian][MariaCena][LilianRock][StephH]


**Bwahahaha. This is like...my favorite one-shot. I love Chicago so much. If you haven't seen it, you should rent it! It's amazing! Uhm...I disclaim, I own nothing. But oh the things I'd do if I owned Rock... heh. Enjoy!**

* * *

Water is dripping into a sink. Footsteps from above echo. Someone drums their nails. The sounds repeat. 

Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipshitz.

The sounds continue. A man's voice is heard.

"And now the six merry murderesses of the McMahon County Jail in their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'"

Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipshitz.

The room is dark, dank. There's a line of jail cell-like bars lined up against a wall. A single light shines on each section of the bars.

Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipshitz.

Lita, Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, Maria, Lilian Garcia and Stephanie McMahon appear behind the barred doors, dressed in different pieces of black lingerie. Behind the first door, POP Lita leans forward on the bars, her arms up to the elbow in a black, netted stocking. Her hair is down, slightly curled. She has on a halter-tube top like shirt that has a piece of the black going down to the bottoms, which are short boy shorts.

The next cell slides in to view. SIX Stacy's hair is very curled. Her top is more like a bra with a bit of white lace around the top. She leans forward, taking one of the bars in her grasp.

The light on that dims and shines on the next. SQUISH Trish's hair is sleeked back and pulled into a bun. Her black top has a choker type collar which goes down into another tube top, leaving her shoulders bare. She glides her fingers over the bars before holding it tightly.

UH UH Maria approaches the steel timidly. Gripping the bars, her eyes give away her fright. Her top is a corset and her hair is sleeked back, and pushed behind her shoulders.

Lilian steps in front of the next cell, cigarette in hand. CICERO This outfit is more elaborate, two-parts. Her first layer is a low cut v-neck top that hangs off the shoulders. The piece of that comes down her arms, linking between her fingers. The other part of the shirt is lace and covers the rest of her chest.

The last cell. LIPSHITZ Stephanie's hair is in tight curls, her arms outstretched on the bars. The top comes down and then criss crosses along her stomach, leading down into a skirt with lots of black lace.

The camera pans out into all the cells where the divas stand, twisting, using the bars for support. Behind each cell, they're doing something different with their bodies.

_He had it comin'!  
He had it comin'!  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betchya you would have done the same!_

Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipshitz.

One of the cell doors begins to open, allowing Lita to come out. A man appears in the center of the floor. Lita walks towards him, making it visible of her knee high boots. As she walks up to him, it's now evident the man is none other than Edge. She places her arm over his shoulder and starts speaking.

"You know how people have these little habits that get you down, like Adam. Adam liked to chew gum. No, not chew: POP! So I came home this one day, and I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there's Adam layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin', poppin'! So, I said to him, I said, 'You pop that gum one more time...' and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...into his head."

By now, they've started to dance. One pair of hands are laced. His other is wrapped around her waist, while her other hand is slowly coming around his neck. She lifts one leg up off the ground and leans herself into him. They spin around quickly, as if they're doing the tango. He sits on one knee, and she rests herself on it, holding her hand up like a gun. She steps off his lap, still holding his hand and him still kneeling. She leans back all the way and raises her leg up in the air, like she's doing the splits, only not on the ground. As she says the last words slowly, she brings her leg down and in one quick motion has her other arm behind his neck. As she says the word head, she jerks out a red scarf and he falls to the floor. She jerks her arms up and twirls around, whipping him with the scarf. He starts to run and she jumps, wrapping the red cloth around his neck, jerking him back and spinning him around. They go into a tango again.

_He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have heard it  
I betcha you would  
Have done the same!_

A second door drops and Stacy appears. The rest of her clothing can now be seen, which is bikini bottoms with a lacy, see-through skirt wrapped around it. She leans against the cell and then steps out. She begins walking up to another man, only the back of his head is visible.

"I met Randy Orton from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out, 'Single,' he told me? Single my ass. Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink, as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."

She ends up with her long legs wrapped around his waist, her fingers running through his hair. As soon as she says she found out, he drops to the floor, taking her with him. She lands on top of him, her hands pressed on his chest, an evil smile creeping up her lips. She pushes herself up with her hands, spreading her legs into the splits while still on top of him. She bends her legs back up and hunches forwards. She ends up with her lips right next to his. She leans forward even more, kissing him, or so it seems. She raises her head back up, a long, red scarf clenched between her teeth. She rolls off, swinging the handkerchief with her. She swings her leg out, as though she's kicking him back up to his feet. They get back up and begin the tango type dance again. She spins around him and falls back with him dipping her down. They lock hands again, their free going around her waist and around his shoulder.

_He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He took a flower  
In its prime  
And then he used it  
And he abused it  
It was a murder  
But not a crime!_

Another gate opens and Trish steps out. She has black armbands around her biceps. The bottoms are shorts which have clips going down into lacy stockings. She starts to walk around, as though circling her prey. The camera backs up and we see a man without a shirt on. They circle the other while Trish begins to talk.

"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, and in storms my husband Jay, in a jealous rage. 'You been screwin' the milkman,' he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', 'You been screwin' the milkman.' And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!"

As they walk, the circle between them gets tighter and tighter. Trish thumps the toe of her boot on the floor. Then stomps down, twisting her hips. Christian flexes his abdomen before the circle closes completely. He takes her in his arms and she lifts up one of her legs so that it's pressed against his side. From their grasp, she shoves him and out comes a much longer red scarf. He backs up all the way and she swings out her arm. She pulls on the rope and then swings a leg over, stepping down with her boot, bringing him down to the floor. He lands on his stomach, his eyes catching a glimpse of her boots.

_If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same!_

Another door opens and a white light shines down. In the spotlight, timid Maria dances with John Cena doing a slower, ballroom-type dance.

"Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják, hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam a rendõrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg..."

She dances around somewhat like a ballerina. Lita asks her, "Yeah, but did you do it?"

Maria looks up, her eyes wide. "Uh uh, not guilty!" Her back is facing John and she reaches behind with her hand, pulling out a white scarf. The lights go black and then back to red.

Lilian walks out of her cell. The other divas and their men dance the same ballroom dance. They clear a path in the center so that the main focus is on her. Her double layered top shows to be no more than a one piece.

"My sister, Dahlia and I did this double act and my husband, Dwayne, used to travel round with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row One, two, three, four, five...splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin', havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Dahlia and Dwayne doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead."

She names off the moves Dahlia and The Rock appear. They get within touching distance and with each dance move mentioned and hand or leg flies to a different position. She stands in one spotlight, the rest of the background black. She says spread eagle and another light flips on, showing Rock sitting in a chair, Dahlia face down doing the splits in his face. The background light fades and Lilian stands there. She says the part about washing the blood off and unfolds her hands, revealing two red scarves. Red lights come on Dahlia is behind Rock, her hand on his waist. One of his hands is reached back, the other up in the air. Lilian presses her hand on his chest and they start stomping to the left. Lilian starts singing loudly, the other divas follow, all of them dancing around the floor with a mix of the tango and ballroom.

_They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming all along  
They had it coming all along  
I didn't do it  
She didn't do it  
But if I done it  
But if she done it  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?  
They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They took a flower  
All along  
In its prime  
I didn't do it  
And then they used it  
But if I'd done it,  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?_

Lilian switches positions and is in the middle, her hands wrapped around Dahlia's throat. Rock is behind her, his hands wrapped on her waist as they walk backwards in quick movements. The two turn their backs, along with the other guys. All the girls press onto their chests, Lilian has either hands on Rock's and Dahlia's. They push forward, sending all the guys sliding to the floor.

The five divas jump back into a well-lit room and begin dancing. Three in front, the other two in back. They spin around to the back and Stephanie stands there, smiling. The other five sink down to their knees in a circle. Stephanie crosses her arms as Triple H appears behind her.

"I loved Paul Lipshitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy...sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead."

Behind her, HHH grabs her hands with his own, spinning around. The others stand up, making a circle around them. Stephanie and Triple H walk out of the circle, their bodies in a tango position. She lists the girls, leaning against his back while he scratches his chest. She slinks her hands around his head and neck. Reaching in his shirt, she jerks out a red scarf. She brings it up quickly around his neck, as if she's choking him. She pulls back, then shoves him forward to the ground.

_The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
They had it comin'  
All along  
All along  
'Cause if they used us  
'Cause if they used us  
And they abused us  
And they abused us  
How could you tell us that we were wrong?  
He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame.  
He only had himself to blame.  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same!_

The scene turns from black and dark to bright red with lots of spotlights. All six divas dance around, making jerking movements. They jump up, slamming their feet to the ground, swinging their arms like they're hitting somebody. They back up and then kick forward, one of their legs going parallel with the rest of their bodies. They hunches forward, stomping in a tight circle. They jump to the floor in a push-up position. They kick their legs out into the splits, pointing forward.

"You pop that gum one more time!"

"Single my ass."

"Ten times!"

"Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe."

"Number seventeen-the spread eagle."

"Artistic differences."

All of their voices overlap towards the end. They back up into their cells, the lights fading.

Pop. Six. Squish. Uh uh. Cicero. Lipshitz.


End file.
